A still from the movie Demolition Man in which some police officers prepare to confront a character played by Wesley Snipes.

Top Text: Demolition Man: A movie which depicts a horrifying dystopia…

Bottom Text:…in which food is too healthy, bidets are common, and cops literally don’t know how to assault a black man.

    • You still wipe with toilet paper, you just use far less, anyone who has a wet spot on their ass might have turned it in with their pants on. In which case the bidet isn’t the problem.

      • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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        12 hours ago

        I already don’t use much toilet paper. Do Europeans have chronic diarrhea or something they need a hose every time?

        • It’s funny that people always answer like this “I’m already so perfect at wiping i can’t imagine it getting better.”

          In a family of 4 the toilet paper usage in my house dropped by 90%. A purchase of toilet paper now lasted nearly 10x the length, a direct cost savings and reduction in waste into the sewer system.

          Just cause you have this incredible mastery of wiping doesn’t mean the world does. I’m proud of you and how clean you wipe though, congrats. I just wish you could imagine a world where you didn’t get your pants wet ever time you use a bidet.

          • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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            11 hour ago

            I just don’t see how it would use less toilet paper if it’s attempting to dry off a wet ass. Wet toilet paper sticks to everything, and barely takes away water.

            Maybe if it was a paper towel it would get my ass totally dry without leaving bits of tissue paper on it, but that’s not flushable and would end up being more paper usage for me.

            I can imagine a world where my pants aren’t wet. I just can’t imagine one where it uses less paper or doesn’t result in washcloths used only for drying anuses.

            • cv_octavio
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              229 minutes ago

              That’s why you’re not a full God though. Username checketh out.

            • @AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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              136 minutes ago

              The way you’ve described it isn’t how it works at all, they even have studies linking bidet use directly to something like a 2/3rds overall reduction in paper waste. Cleaning a little bit of water off your clean ass is ez!

              You’ve literally constructed a reality which doesnt exist to avoid a bidet and you don’t realize that’s weird. It’s super weird.

              • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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                120 minutes ago

                But like… how? If I try to dry my ass with toilet paper I don’t get dry and get toilet paper flakes everywhere.

                I would love to understand the mechanics of this. Is it different paper?